A friend asked me a while back, “How do I find the one?” I wasn’t exactly sure how to answer it at first but it got me thinking…
How do you find the THE ONE??? By the one, I mean the person that you will spend the rest of your life with. If you have someone, how do you even know they are the person you are meant to be with forever? This is not an easy question to answer. I don’t think anyone could ever give a “one size fits all” answer.
However, I do think there are steps that you can take in your life that will prepare you to be better equipped to find the one.
It starts with YOU
If you are not ready or prepared, you will not find a successful relationship. By being ready I don’t mean you are lonely and just want someone, anyone. I mean that you are happy with YOU. You’ve got plans for your life and you are working hard to achieve them.
I am a believer in the saying “you have to be happy and love who you are before anyone can be happy with you and love you.” Once you work on yourself and are happy and confident you will find someone that admires you and loves you for that reason (and many others). It will attract the people who want to help make you better and want you to achieve your goals. This is the person that will stand by you through your journey.
Check out this post to help you work on yourself!
Don’t be afraid
This is a hard one. Especially if you’ve been burned before. Even though it’s hard, it’s important to try. You don’t want to pass up someone great because you are afraid to give them a chance. Still, make sure to look for warning signs. If it’s not right, walk away! Download my free “Warning Signs: He’s Not the ONE” checklist. It will help you spot the warning signs in any relationship.
Don’t force it
If you waste your time with someone that you know is wrong, you won’t find the one. Get out if they are not for you. Neither party in a relationship should have to sacrifice themselves or their hopes and dreams just to keep another person happy. If you are having to do this, it isn’t the relationship for you. No excuses! If they love you and are invested in you, you will know it. Don’t let your brain or heart tell you otherwise.
It ain’t Easy
Wouldn’t it be amazing if finding the one was simple! Well if it was I wouldn’t be writing this post. LOVE is hard. You will go through heartache and misery on your journey to find it. I may be one of the “success stories.” However, it didn’t come without heartache, patience, and learning how to love myself. Know that you will find it, just focus on yourself while you wait!
Once I stopped looking for others to make me feel special, or wanted, and started working on loving myself. That’s when I found someone who loved me for me! And hey, if you don’t find the one anytime soon at least you will be happy with yourself! After you build this confidence, others will be drawn to it!
So, it may not be easy but it will be worth it. If you can be patient and focus on yourself, get out quickly if you know a relationship isn’t right, not be fearful of letting yourself love, and try not to force it. You will find everything that you are looking for! While you wait go out there and be yourself and love yourself. That was probably the best thing that I have ever learned!
Please share your stories with me below! I would love to hear how you found the one, or even how you built yourself back up after a break-up from someone who you thought was your always and forever!