How to Find The ONE!

A friend asked me a while back, “How do I find the one?” I wasn’t exactly sure how to answer it at first but it got me thinking…

How do you find the THE ONE??? By the one, I mean the person that you will spend the rest of your life with. If you have someone, how do you even know they are the person you are meant to be with forever? This is not an easy question to answer. I don’t think anyone could ever give a “one size fits all” answer.How to find The ONE!

However, I do think there are steps that you can take in your life that will prepare you to be better equipped to find the one.


It starts with YOU

If you are not ready or prepared, you will not find a successful relationship. By being ready I don’t mean you are lonely and just want someone, anyone. I mean that you are happy with YOU. You’ve got plans for your life and you are working hard to achieve them.

I am a believer in the saying “you have to be happy and love who you are before anyone can be happy with you and love you.” Once you work on yourself and are happy and confident you will find someone that admires you and loves you for that reason (and many others). It will attract the people who want to help make you better and want you to achieve your goals. This is the person that will stand by you through your journey.

Check out this post to help you work on yourself!

Don’t be afraid

This is a hard one. Especially if you’ve been burned before. Even though it’s hard, it’s important to try. You don’t want to pass up someone great because you are afraid to give them a chance. Still, make sure to look for warning signs. If it’s not right, walk away! Download my free  “Warning Signs: He’s Not the ONE” checklist. It will help you spot the warning signs in any relationship.

How to Find the ONE!

Warning Signs Checklist

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Don’t force it

If you waste your time with someone that you know is wrong, you won’t find the one. Get out if they are not for you. Neither party in a relationship should have to sacrifice themselves or their hopes and dreams just to keep another person happy. If you are having to do this, it isn’t the relationship for you. No excuses! If they love you and are invested in you, you will know it. Don’t let your brain or heart tell you otherwise.

It ain’t Easy

Wouldn’t it be amazing if finding the one was simple! Well if it was I wouldn’t be writing this post. LOVE is hard. You will go through heartache and misery on your journey to find it. I may be one of the “success stories.” However, it didn’t come without heartache, patience, and learning how to love myself. Know that you will find it, just focus on yourself while you wait!

Once I stopped looking for others to make me feel special, or wanted, and started working on loving myself. That’s when I found someone who loved me for me! And hey, if you don’t find the one anytime soon at least you will be happy with yourself! After you build this confidence, others will be drawn to it!

So, it may not be easy but it will be worth it. If you can be patient and focus on yourself, get out quickly if you know a relationship isn’t right, not be fearful of letting yourself love, and try not to force it. You will find everything that you are looking for! While you wait go out there and be yourself and love yourself. That was probably the best thing that I have ever learned!

Please share your stories with me below! I would love to hear how you found the one, or even how you built yourself back up after a break-up from someone who you thought was your always and forever!

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5 thoughts on “How to Find The ONE!

  1. Hello from Bloggy Brunch! I’m so glad you linked up with us this morning- we appreciate and love it! I really really liked this post I did a similar post awhile back on an old blog and it did so well I might rewrite it. My favorite part was about not forcing it, isn’t it easy for us women to do that? Love something or someone so much we crush it to death…. in a matter of speaking. I had this happen in one relationship and I never got the answers I wanted. That was a hard pill to swallow. Thanks again! XO

    1. Hey Nora, Thanks! I’m glad you host the link up! I LOVE joining it! I agree, I think that most women have experience with forcing a relationship. Especially when young. I tried to do this with a previous relationship and realized that it was completely wrong for me. I am so happy that I finally realized that! Thanks for sharing your experience and for stopping by!

  2. Lyndsey, your words certainly resonated with my personal experience: “once you work on yourself and are happy and confident you will find someone that admires you and loves you for that reason (and many others).” I went through so many painful romantic relationships before I realized that my own unhappiness with my life and my self were part of the problem. I hope other young women read this post and begin to appreciate their worth!

    1. Hey Melissa,

      I am glad this has resonated with others! There are so many struggles that women have with relationships especially when young. I think it’s important that we understand that we need to first make ourselves happy. Counting on someone else to make us happy won’t help us in the long run. I just hope that my words can help someone before they have to struggle and learn the hard way! Thanks for stopping by and the kind words!


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